Get Out There & Mingle!

"Being single does not mean no one wants you... it just means that God is busy writing your love story."

Let's face it. Being single can be incredibly difficult on the heart and completely isolating. You see people holding hands, you cringe. You are forced into awkward third wheel situations because it seems as though everyone seems to have a special someone but you. Yes, even the most annoying friend that you've got is posting pictures from her vacation in Hawaii with her "hubby"...

Don't just sit there, do something about it!

So many people have the notion the love should be left to fate, which is unrealistic. Fate is defined by Webster's Dictionary as "the development of events outside a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power." If you haven't watched the movie 500 Days of Summer, you should watch it NOW. Relying on fate is an excuse to not live your life in the now. Relying on the supernatural to save your love life will get you nowhere. "You can't ascribe great cosmic significance to a simple earthly event. Coincidence, that's all anything ever is, nothing more than coincidence... there are no miracles. There's no such thing as fate, nothing is meant to be."

Instead of relying on fate to be your answer, grab a hold of your life and move forward with it in your own hands. You have absolutely nothing to lose. If you see someone you'd like to talk to, talk to them. The worst thing that could happen is that they turn you down, and you can move forward learning from that experience. To quote Fight Club, "This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time." Why waste time sulking or fret about being too afraid to speak up? A simple smile can make all the difference in starting a conversation. For women, you can forgo aggression all together and use nonverbal cues (such as eye contact/body language) to show interest. If the guy doesn't get it, starting a functional conversation (such as "How was your week?" or "Have you seen any good movies lately?") can get the conversation started without it being too seemingly awkward. For men, don't be afraid to be bold. You can do this. Focus on making her laugh.

Howaboutadate.com offers the perfect environment for singles to mingle with other fellow singles in a friendly, open environment with no pressure whatsoever. We set up group events weekly at places such as bars for happy hours, art galleries and museums, and delicious restaurants all in the Bay Area. We don't force you to pinpoint a specific person to talk to and take out on a date, but focus on introducing you to a variety of different people that you could potentially form connections with (friendly or romantic). We aim to provide an outlet for you to sharpen up your social skills. We want you to do what you love, and to naturally shine in doing what you love. When one is happy with themselves, it shows, and there is a glow that they radiate to the world.

Simply put, we want to provide the tools to get ya shinin'.

Happiness in Singularity

February 14th.

We all know the day as either the day that your significant other is required to show you the most outward form of intimate expression or as Singles Awareness Day. Many of us, single as well as taken, dread that day of the year in which everything feels artificial and forced- materialistic and aggrandized. I’ve experienced Valentines Day in relationships, as well as in that awkward “Wait, we’re dating…. right?” phase, and of course, as a single woman looking for my own peace of mind. Even with someone to feed my chocolate and roses loving appetite, Valentines Day is my least favorite day of the year.

The origin of Valentines Day is still not entirely known, but we can trace it back to the feast of Lupercalia which was celebrated by the ancient Romans from February 13th to the 15th. During this celebration, men sacrificed both a goat and a dog, and then used the hides of the slain animals to whip women. Young women would actually line up to get whipped, thinking that the whipping would instigate fertility. After the whippings, there would be a matchmaking lottery in which the men would draw names from a jar and would couple up with their match for the rest of the festival. As the years progressed, authors like Shakespeare would romanticize this day and paper valentines became incredibly popular during the Middle Ages. Once the tradition made its way to the New World and while the industrial revolution was in full bloom, valentines became mass produced. We now see Valentines Day as another holiday victim to mass commercialization, and we have no one to blame but ourselves for literally buying into it.

I hate Valentines Day because I always felt as though I was never thankful enough for what I had received, even though I never needed or wanted anything. I remember a boyfriend making me feel guilty for buying him cheeseburger socks and making him a handmade pillow while he bought me a necklace. While I believed my gift came from my heart and thus held as much importance as his gift, he didn’t believe so. Because of this, we got into the biggest fight and ended up breaking up. Of course, we definitely had problems prior to Valentines Day, but this is to show that Valentines Day can highlight the ugliest attributes in people.

Valentines Day is a day to exhibit your love for someone to others. It is the ultimate form of showing off, and in that it is disgustingly pathetic. Does anyone not remember the quote “Love is not boastful” ? If you love someone, wouldn’t you show them everyday? Do we really need a “holiday” to initiate or reaffirm the “love”? And even worse, why do we feel the need to reinforce how we feel through the giving and receiving of material objects? We are a society based on commodities. We see objects for their symbolic meaning rather than their actual meaning, when we shouldn’t hold them so highly. If you love someone, show them everyday. A diamond necklace or ring doesn’t show love, words and actions do.

I am currently in a long distance relationship and although yes, I am in a relationship, I still feel incredibly lonely from time to time. In fact, I feel at times that it’s even worse than being single. At least when you’re single and itching for intimate conversation, you can go out on a date with the night and meet other singles to mingle with. At least when you’re single, you can feel complete independence in knowing that you are focusing on yourself and that is the most gratifying feeling. Being in a long distance relationship is the ultimate isolation, but if someone is worth the time and effort- the pains of being lonely are all worth it. You just have to be happy with who you are, work towards making yourself a better person everyday and realize that there is more to life than being in a relationship with someone.

If you are feeling lonely being single on Valentines Day, know that you actually are not alone. Also realize that you do not have anyone to worry about pleasing but yourself. Although it may seem ideal to have that Valentine to please or dress up for, it’s all just a bunch of work and time that you can be spending on yourself. In order for someone to love you, you must be able to love yourself first and foremost. You are not alone because you have yourself, and you are the most important person in your life. Plus, more steak, chocolate and wine for you. :D

However, if you don’t feel like dousing yourself in unreasonable amounts of chocolate and wine solo, come to our Valentines Day Social Mixer!

But always remember, the greatest love of all comes from within.