Something Happens And I'm Head Over Heels

Ever wonder what determines attraction?

Ever wonder what truly happens when lust is triggered?

Ever wonder what's happening when you're giddy/head over heels?

Here are the true facts for you: 

With all this shown, get your adrenaline and dopamine pumping by posting a date on HowAboutADate.com! 

Dating Facts and Fun

Many people have their own perceptions about dating.  Each person has their own idea of what the expenses and dress code should be on a date.  In this weeks blog we'll be taking a look at an infograph that breaks down some facts about dating that many people don't know!

Now that you've had a chance to learn some new facts and see some fun date recommendations, it's time to join HowAboutADate.com and post some of your own!

Arthur G. Bahr

Social Instigator for...

HowAboutADate.com  d  a  t  i  n  g    s  i  m  p  l  i  f  i  e  d

Do what you love... and love will find you

Dating Tips for Ladies

We know dating can be hard, but there are many ways to make the process as simple as possible. Here are some key dating tips to keep in mind:

1) Make a list of attributes you look for in a potential mate. Knowing what you want is vital and incredibly sexy, so write down a list of key qualities that you appreciate and narrow it down to 10. 150 qualities is a bit too specific/unrealistic ;P
2) Relax. If you feel like you meet many men and have given out your number and have somehow not been called back, don't sweat it. Instead of stressing over it and wondering why, move on. Save yourself the grief and know that there are bigger and better things waiting out there for you.
3) Maintain your own identity. Never lose yourself. Think you've met the guy of your dreams but you'd have to sacrifice your former life to be with him? Not good. Maintaining your sense of self, keeping friendships, and maintaining your passions in life assure balance- thus making you more desirable.
4) Trust your intuition. If someone is making you feel uneasy or if you're getting a feeling in your gut that something isn't quite right, TRUST IT. Keep your eyes open and listen to your inner self. You are usually right about these things.
5) Acceptance. Don't look for people that you think you can "change". You aren't supposed to be a counselor for someone and you cannot change a person. If you can't accept some trait or habit in someone, it's time to think about whether this person is actually right for you.
6) "I complete me" vs. "You complete me". Many people go around jumping from one relationship to the next because they feel really uncomfortable with the idea of being alone with themselves. This is terrible. What is wonderful is to be comfortable, confident and happy on your own before you embark on a relationship. You must learn to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else.  You mustn't let anyone else dictate your happiness.
7) Don't Assume Anything. Ask questions, and don't make assumptions about the relationship without any real answers. Don't be afraid to express what you are looking for.
8) Ditch your Comfort Zone. Try something new. We all grow from trying the things that we have been afraid of doing.
9) DO NOT SETTLE. If you are starting to feel a little stressed that Mr. Right has not come along yet, do not settle for second best. In the end, you will be much happier being single than wasting time with the wrong person.

Keep these dating tips in mind and join How About A Date to find fellow singles who are ready to mingle. We are a website that focuses on activity based dating rather than searching for a soulmate immediately (as that is incredibly unrealistic). We focus on solidarity in being single and want you to find someone in doing what you love whether it's hiking, going to your favorite museum on a Saturday or at a happy hour at one of your favorite bars.

You never know who you'll meet.

Just the tips of the iceberg

Everyone is looking to meet new and exciting people through dating and fun activities.  Online dating has provided a gateway for people to meet others with similar interests.  While most sites focus on matchmaking and profiles, HowAboutADate.com works to empower the singles community and encourages singles to post a fun activity opposed to filling out a long questionnaire.   So what do you wear? What do you say?  I've provided some tips that will help you show up prepared and improve your dating experience!

Body language:  When you’re confident and comfortable you’ll become more animated, smile more, lean in, and use more eye contact.  Most people are attracted to a confident person and body language is the first way to show confidence.  It’s important to avoid slouching, looking down, and keeping your arms crossed.

First impressions are unavoidable:  Whether we like it or not, we all judge people based off the first few seconds that we see them.  It’s very important that you present yourself as a confident individual and I'd recommend wearing comfortable and respectable attire.  If you look unprofessional, people treat you unprofessional.

Pick a unique date:  While dinner and a happy hour isn't always a bad thing, most successful dates involve a little creativity.  It’s important to pick a date that you’re comfortable doing and will provide mutual enjoyment.  People love to share their stories and it’s much more exciting to share a story about hiking to the top of Mount Tamalpais than having a casual dinner at a local restaurant.  Accomplishing goals with someone is always a quick way to build a bond or friendship.

Be yourself, be comfortable:  Lies never last longer than a date or two.  It’s much more effective to just be yourself opposed to pretending to be someone you’re not.  It’s important to pick an activity that you’re passionate about as that’ll allow you to be comfortable and less nervous.  Make sure you leave having had a good time and if you're date wasn't 'into' the activity, it may be time to move onto another person.

Don’t shy away from compliments: Everyone gets an occasional compliment, but to many people deflect the compliment by bringing up flaws or problems about it.  Instead of coming up with a reason that their compliment is invalid, try thanking them and smiling, it’ll feel more rewarding to them and help boost your confidence as well.

Conversations are two sided: Conversations are crucial if you want a second date.  While many people don’t have a problem talking about themselves, it’s important to remember that there is someone else in the conversation.  Most people ask questions that they want to be asked, this means a safe counter question is usually something similar to what you were asked.  It’s also good to inquire about certain topics, if your date is a doctor you can ask what field they work in, or where they studied.  People like to know you’re listening and interested.  Everyone loves a comedian but there is a line that can easily be crossed.  It’s alright to be funny and drop some occasional jokes, but every sentence doesn't have to have a punch line.  Keep on topics that are mutual, don't force your opinion or choose to talk about something that aggravates you. Bringing up politics on the first date is a big turnoff.

Now that you have the basics you’re ready to get out there and practice!

Arthur G. Bahr

Social Instigator for...

HowAboutADate.com  d  a  t  i  n  g    s  i  m  p  l  i  f  i  e  d

Do what you love... and love will find you

You Aren't Alone.

Ever feel like you're a single woman who never seems to find the man of your dreams?
Ever feel like you're stuck being the only person without a partner in your life?
Ever feel like you're stuck in a city surrounded by lovers but you yourself are the only one without one?

Fear not, you are not alone.

According to urban studies theorist Richard Florida, who created a map of single populations in cities across the country, "Cities like San Francisco- where the gay population is twice the national average- may pose a serious challenge for single women who are looking for mates, even though the data suggests otherwise." To find out whether the population of gay men and women would skew the numbers as Richard Florida suggests, SF Weekly took a gander at the most recent census numbers. "As of 2008, San Francisco's total population was at 808,976, including 93,820 single men and 83,840 single women aged 20-40. Based on the best reported estimates by the Department of Public Health, there are around 65,000 gay men and about 27,000 lesbians living in San Francisco." In making the assumption that many of them are indeed single, the calculation concluded that 36% of single men in San Francisco are gay and 18% of single women are lesbians. After taking that into account, there are 60,045 single heterosexual men and 68,749 single heterosexual women in the age ranges 20-40. This would conclude that in San Francisco, it is much easier for men to have a variety of partner choices while women are forced to compete harder and make compromises far more frequently in their relationships with men.

Moving forward, I interviewed a friend of mine (she prefers to remain anonymous, but for the article, we'll just call her Daisy) who has been a member of various dating websites such as OkCupid and It's Just Lunch to find dates in San Francisco. Daisy has noticed that in San Francisco, there is a low prioritizing of relationships. "Since people that I happen to meet are so driven and independent, they just don't see the point in being in relationships. They'd rather weigh out as many options as they can." Amy Brinkman, the franchise owner of It's Just Lunch has also stated in an interview that she's also noticed that in San Francisco, men are not very bold in approaching women. "Here, there are all these group get-togethers," she says. "Men prefer to see women a few times before asking them out."

The truth is most people are afraid to approach situations in which they may potentially find themselves vulnerable. All it takes is having the courage to be bold. You only have one life to live, so why not live it without fear or regret?

Attraction through Passion

In our latest blog post we encouraged you to get out and date instead of waiting on fate.  This post will focus on ways to make you more attractive and desirable.

“What matters most is how you see yourself”

Not everyone is born with a smooth tongue, confident personality, and great looks but instead has to learn over time what works for them personally.  This isn't always a fun process and whether you’re young or old there is always more to learn about yourself.  Everyone has different features, different passions, and different personalities and that in itself is what makes us all unique and special.  Being sexy and attractive doesn't need to look like the stuff on TV.  There are lots of ways an individual is able to look and feel sexy just by being true to themselves and having a good time.

Attitude:  Having a positive attitude is one of the most important things in life and in dating.  If you’re always looking at the negative side of things you’re already limiting your capabilities.  Trying new things and meeting new people is always a rewarding experience and others are always attracted to positive and uplifting individuals.

Honesty & Confidence:  Being honest to yourself and those around you can be challenging at times.  Media has skewed our perception of what is attractive and it’s impossible to fit the image Hollywood has portrayed.  Being honest to yourself and confident are two things that attract people to you and help you live a more satisfied and rewarding life.

Passion:  When you’re having fun and doing something you’re passionate about is when you’re personality shines the most.  Find out what your passions are and do those things.  Don’t let others bring you down or convince you otherwise, you are youwhen you’re having fun and that’s when you’ll meet the people most important to you.

We strive to highlight these areas on HowAboutADate.com.  We don’t want to force you into a high pressure interview or match you up with anyone.  Our goal is for you to have fun, be positive, be open to new things, be confident, and be honest to yourself.  When you’re doing something you’re truly passionate about is when people are most attracted to you.  So stop being “Negative Nancy” and start attracting those around you!

Life is so much more rewarding when you’re doing what you love.  And at the same time, you’re harnessing the laws of attraction too!