Date Conversation Topics and Tips



Dating can be nerve racking, which is why we at HowAboutADate.com believe in activity based dating to avoid the pressures and awkwardness of traditional dating.  Although you may be doing an activity that you’re both passionate about, there still need to be conversation.  Some conversation may come naturally and flow while other times may have some “awkward” moments.  I’ve provided several topics and tips below to help you spark a good conversation and keep the ball rolling!  It’s important to note though that you should never ask really personal questions or dig around someone’s past relationships on the first or even 2nd or 3rd dates.   If someone wants to talk about their past relationships or really personal things they will bring it up themselves.

This article also goes hand in hand with an earlier article I wrote on The Importance of Communication.

Tips:
Keep the conversation moving but don’t pry into anything personal or the past
Don’t vent or get carried away with certain topics
Don’t just wait for your turn to talk, be genuinely interested in the conversation and person

Topics:
Where have you traveled or want to travel?
Do you enjoy your job? What do you do? Would you rather be doing anything else?
Where is your favorite hangout?
What are some of your hobbies or interests?
What type of music do you listen to?
Do you have any siblings? Are you close to your family?
What’s your favorite movie of all time (or one of your favorites) and why?
Do you have a nickname and what’s the story behind it?

These topics are all good for conversation but there are plenty more out there.  It’s good to avoid questions that can have a “yes or no” question as those can easily cool off a conversation.

You can find more tips for communicating and dating in my article Just the Tips of the Iceberg.


Arthur G. Bahr
Social Instigator for...


Do what you love... and love will find you



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What's Your "Type"?

This is a question that has baffled friends for years.  Everyone has their own type, obsessions, and fantasies.  Trying to figure out your friend’s type can be a big deal.  While I may like certain attributes about women, my friends might like a totally different type.  It's not only important to find out what your friends like, but it would benefit you to figure out what exactly you're attracted to as well!  You may not always agree on who is attractive or not; respect that everyone has different preferences and that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   People tend to look at several different things when they’re attracted to someone; check out these attributes.

Legs – I put legs first because I personally am a hugelegs person.  I melt when I see an athletic woman with tan and toned legs.  Legs are usually a pretty common turn on for guys and most women know it and aren’t afraid to show it!

Eyes – It’s always nice to have good looking eyes, but what’s more important is how you use them.  People with good looking eyes tend to let their eyes do the flirting for them.

Skin – Everyone likes soft skin… Obviously there are lots of different races and lots of different colors of skin but it's important to remember again that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  It’s important to keep your skin healthy and moisturized!
Body – Muscles are a huge turn on for women.  I’d guess that close to 80% of women will be attracted to a guy that’s ripped and fit.  Having a toned body can play a role in first impressions, but don’t go overboard.  There are lots of people that work out so much that it consumes them and their body begins to lose its appeal.  There is an especially fine line for women, it’s important to be toned and fit, but men typically aren’t attracted to women who look more muscular than them.

Curves – I know the first thing you think of is that men would notice this more than women but informal studies show that women look at men’s butts quite often as well!  It’s always nice to have curves and some people are more attracted to curvy women than others.  Whether you have curves or not, confidence will always improve one’s attributes.

Smile – Everyone likes a good smile!  It’s important to show a friendly attitude.  You’ll be much more attractive if you smile and lots of people fall for a friendly face.
Personality – Your personality is the most important attribute you have!  It may not come into play until your looks have someone’s attention but that doesn’t change the fact that people with out-going personalities are much more attractive and likeable than quiet and reserved people. Shy or not, being comfortable with yourself is always attractive.

Style – Your style refers to clothing and overall appearance.  Some people are just attracted to people who know how to dress.  If you see a women with a dazzling dress on or a man in a tux, it’s likely that you’ll be more attracted to them than if they were in street clothes, regardless of their looks. 
You don’t have to spend much to dress well. Guys, here’s a link for you to dress well on a budget: http://www.gq.com/style/wear-it-now/201004/gq-guide-style-secrets-cheap-budgetand ladies, here’s one for you: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8cIhZRpzY0‎
Everyone has their type and their own “goggles” on that allow for them to see different attributes in people.  This is exactly why some friendships don’t work out and some parents can’t understand what their kids see in their crush.  It’s important to note what types of people your friends are interested in to better understand their motives and to better you chances of helping each other out in a dating environment.

Arthur G. Bahr
Social Instigator for...


Do what you love... and love will find you
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The Art of Sexting

Since we've become so reliant and dependent on mobile devices, which allow us to text and avoid personal interactions, sexting has grown to become one of the largest ways of modern day flirting.  "Sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit messages and/or photographs, primarily between mobile phones or devices." -Wikipedia

Ultimately, sexting is the next evolution to phone sex.  While there isn't the same verbal interaction, people are able to turn each other on from anywhere and use their imagination to fulfill their sexual desires.

There are two main forms of sexting, one is text and the other is via pictures.  It's important to note also that if you're going to be sending pictures of yourself to someone you should either have an extremely trusting relationship or try to leave your head, or any recognizable things, out of the photo.

Teenagers have begun sexting which has caused a large amount of commotion over pictures being leaked and other information.  Phone apps such as "Snapchat", which allows you to take a picture that will be erased up to 8 seconds after the person opens it, has allowed for teenagers to exchange all sorts of photos and messages without any backlash.  It's important to sext responsibly!

Sexting is a great way to spice up a relationship or let someone know you're interested in them.  The goal of sexting is typically to encourage a future sexual interaction with the receiver.  It has helped maintain a sexual desire in busy relationships and is encouraged between couples.

The trick to sexting is to tease; you want to add in sexual intentions without being to forward or up front.  It's important to turn the person on and not creep them out.  I suggest adding some creative humor to compliment the sexual comments.  Be descriptive but don't include too much detail, let the person's imagination have a little fun.

Sexting can be sensual, romantic, and descriptive.  A good sext will hit on several of these areas.  Some people even use the "**hugs**" kind of approach and will sext something like **wrap my arms around you and kiss you slowly** in which the ** ** indicate an imaginary action that the two of you are participating in. 

Some good sexting examples can be found at http://sextingexamples.org/.  There are several examples of different approaches in the comments.

Now that you understand the background and basics it's time to test it out!

Happy sexting,

Arthur G. Bahr
Social Instigator for...


Do what you love... and love will find you
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