Why don’t I get asked out?

“Why don’t I get asked out?” This question has always plagued so many women. There could be numerous reasons. The guy may be too shy. The timing may be off. Or he’s just not that into you. Or do you think it’s you? You’re not pretty enough. You’re not smart enough. You’re not funny enough. For many women it’s the later.  It’s our low self-esteem that creates a vicious cycle of self-loathing that, in short, turns the guys off.

1.  Nobody fancies me. Everybody has a dry spell now and then. But if you let this thought consume you, it will cause you to:
2. Ignore those checking you out and pay attention to rejection messages.  All because you think “nobody fancies you.” This in turn creates:
3. Feelings of unattractiveness and self-consciousness.  Which can results in:
4. Sloppy dress, acting unsocial and not mixing with others.  This leads to more:
5. You don’t get asked out, which reinforces #1 Nobody fancies you.

Breaking out of this vicious cycle may take time but it’s completely doable. It all starts with raising your self-esteem.  (1) Dress up and go out with some good friends, friends that will complement you and you them. (2) Stay positive, which will cause you to laugh and smile. People are attracted to happy people; they don’t want to be around people who will bring them down. (3) Do activities that you enjoy. When you do what you love your personality shines – that’s when people will notice you. (4) And keep your eye out for those that do notice you. Let that boost your ego and raise your self-esteem.  (5) Lastly, remember that confidence is sexy.

Now that you have the how to, only practice makes perfect. Get out there and start dating!

By Dao Nguyen

Singles, How to Survive Valentine's Day (7 day count down)

This day for the “celebration of love” can be especially hard on singles that are (currently) not in a relationship.  Singles, don’t let Valentine’s Day get you down.  Here are a few facts and tips to help you survive, if not enjoy, Valentine’s Day!  

 

Seven Day Count Down:

7. Realize that Valentine's Day is only made for money. Just like the many non-federal holidays created by the retail industry, it's to guilt people into buying flowers and gifts; thus making money for the rich.

 

6. You are not alone. More than 50% of the US Adult population is single.

For the first time, there are more single American adults than married ones, and here’s where they live – The Washington Post, Sept 15 2014


5. Know that many breakups happen on/around Valentine's Day since many couples feel pressure to "evaluate" their relationship around this time. Bonus: that means there will be more singles after Valentine's Day.

4. Avoid couples. If you have a friend who is with their partner, it's in your best interest to stay away from them, even if they ask you to go somewhere with them it's not a good idea. It's Valentine's Day, so obviously there will be a lot of affection and if you see that it will ruin your week and also you will feel like you're just tagging along and this will also hurt your feelings.

3. Realize that you're happier alone than with your ex. Just because one day can make you feel miserable doesn't mean you should force yourself to find a relationship and be miserable for the rest of the year.

 

2. Plan to spend Valentine's Day with your single friends or join a singles Meetup event or go out to a singles mixer/party. Now-a-days there's meetup.com, where many singles social groups and events are posted. There are big parties organized just for singles! For example, there's a huge Singles Valentine's Day Party in San Francisco CA on Sat Feb 14 2015. 

 

 

1. Treat yourself. Celebrate your beautiful self and show yourself some love. Book a day at the spa and pamper yourself, buy yourself flowers and chocolates, and/or treat yourself to a fancy dinner. You deserve it!

 

 

By Dao Nguyen, Social Instigator

 

 

Empowering singles and supporting & enriching the Singles Community